


Puppy Love

by ExplosiveRat



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Coming Out, Feelings Realization, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi, Pining, Pre-Slash, Questioning, Vomiting, idk how to tag this bear with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25279504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExplosiveRat/pseuds/ExplosiveRat
Summary: Hopefully, you haven’t noticed that Fuyuhiko has a crush on one of his closest friends, Kazuichi Souda. Yes, it’s the bane of his existence, and thank god, no one knows about this aside from Peko. If he could just bottle up every romantic feeling he has for him and throw it out the nearest window, that’d be just grand. Unfortunately, emotions don’t work like that.This utterly worthless "puppy love" had better fade before things get out of hand.
Relationships: Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 132





	1. Unfortunate Fondness

**Author's Note:**

> i had zero planning for this and I might change the title later tbh, uuhuhmm,m,hhh enjoy ig

Hopefully, you haven’t noticed that Fuyuhiko has a crush on one of his closest friends, Kazuichi Souda. Yes, it’s the bane of his existence, and thank god, no one knows about this aside from Peko. If he could just bottle up every romantic feeling he has for him and throw it out the nearest window, that’d be just grand. Unfortunately, emotions don’t work like that. This utterly _worthless_ puppy love had better fade before things get out of hand. 

He’s not the type to get a long-lasting crush on someone, let alone a guy, and _especially_ Kazuichi. This’ll all blow over in a few months, anyway - even though it’s already been three long, agonizing months of his heart having a fit whenever Kazuichi would accidentally brush their hands together as they walk, or when Kazuichi passes notes to him in class and he begrudgingly tells him to _get back to work, dumbass._

The bell rings, signifying the end of the period, and Fuyuhiko snaps out of his unfortunate thought process. His eyes begin to dart between the board full of neat, almost cursive writing and his empty sheet, and he lets out a groan as the people around him stand up and begin to chatter amongst themselves or exit. So much for getting work done. Whatever- he’ll just get the notes off someone this time.

He turns to his left, before getting smacked on the back of the head with a paper ball. Immediately turning in the direction of the ball with a scowl, he meets eyes with Kazuichi tossing a similar paper ball in the air. He gives a carefree, toothy smile, before chucking the other ball at Fuyuhiko’s head. It bounced off and landed onto the hardwood floor, only to be flattened by Fuyuhiko’s foot.

“God, would you fuck off already!” He nearly shouted, attracting the attention of the few remaining people still packing up. 

“Jesus, dude! The hell got into you? I don’t have any more balls, I swear!” Fuyuhiko grinds his teeth and takes a couple of slow deep breaths in an attempt to soothe his nerves. After all, there’s no point in getting pissed about his rather unfortunate feelings.

“It’s nothin’, don’t worry about it.” He thinks for a moment on what to say to change the topic and fists his hands into his pockets as a slight smile finds its way onto his face. “Besides, I know you don’t have any balls, you didn’t need to tell me.” Fuyuhiko waited as patiently as he could for the double entendre to register in Kazuichi’s head.

“Hey! I’ll have you know, I have balls!” He angrily points a finger, almost poking the tip of Fuyuhiko’s nose. “At _least_ two!” Fuyuhiko suppressed a laugh with a punch to Kazuichi’s shoulder, as the joke went in one ear and out the other.

“Dumbass, shut up! You’re gonna get us put in detention!” Kazuichi laughed into the palm of his hand and raised his eyebrows slightly.

“When do you care about getting detention, anyway? You sick or something?” He placed one hand on his forehead and the other on Fuyuhiko’s, before getting it smacked away almost immediately.

“Why the hell would I even come If I was? Quit worryin’ over nothing, dammit.” Kazuichi’s concerned gaze lingers for a moment but eventually flickers to the blank sheet on Fuyuhiko’s desk.

“You didn’t get any work done either? You sure you’re good? Like, emotionally?” Fuyuhiko silently curses Kazuichi’s caring nature but shoots him a halfhearted glare to shut him up. Kazuichi continued anyway, clearly not knowing when to stop. “But hey, if you need my notes you can have em - if you can read them, I mean. You’re coming to my dorm anyway, so just copy it there!” He gives a toothy smile while rubbing the back of his neck. 

Fuyuhiko pauses and remembers that he, unfortunately, made plans with Kazuichi the previous day, and now has to spend the entire day with the very guy that caused him this much distress _._ God, how’d he even forget that? It’s not as if he didn’t enjoy spending time with him, it’s just that if he does now he might just lose it. Fuyuhiko decides that it’s too late to cancel now as Kazuichi says something he doesn't pay attention to, but he nods regardless and they begin their journey to his dorm, leaving the blank sheet on the desk.

”Oh, hey! I got this cool game we can play!” Kazuichi perks up not unlike a puppy and wraps his arm around Fuyuhiko’s shoulder

“I gotta get the notes, remember? Besides, I’m not into that garbage.” He shoves Kazuichi’s arm in an attempt to get it off. “And get your arm off me, people are gonna start thinking shit.” Kazuichi’s smile fades and he reluctantly moves his arm back down to his side, still brushing their shoulders together. 

“No one’s gonna think anything! Remember the last time some guy thought you and Peko were dating, and you almost broke the dudes nose? Besides, neither of us are even into guys!” 

_Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, bud._

“People are gonna think shit anyway! It doesn’t matter if they say it or not, you fucking-” His clenched fists slowly loosened up as he took another deep breath. Thinking about Kazuichi like that didn’t do him any good, huh?. He usually avoids thinking about it so he doesn’t get stressed, and this is just further proof that he shouldn’t even let his thoughts wander to him.“...Fuck, ignore that. I’m just tired.” Kazuichi’s look of concern quickly shifted into an understanding one.

“Oooh! Yeah, I get that.” Kazuichi picks up the pace to his dorm, leaving Fuyuhiko slightly behind. “I still think you should try the game out, though.” 

“Fine, fine. If it’ll make you shut up about it.” No matter how hard he tried to keep his cool, a sickly smile wormed its way back onto his face. Kazuichi pumped his fist before he continued with a little more pep in his voice.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Now c’mon, I wanna get to my place so we have more free time!” Kazuichi grabbed Fuyuhiko’s arm and nearly began dragging him through the halls, or at least until Fuyuhiko could regain his balance. Of course, they had to see Sonia. Just what he needed, his crush fawning over someone who doesn’t give him the light of day. It’s understandable, though. If Fuyuhiko could rid himself of any feelings for Kazuichi he’d do it in a split second, especially if Kazuichi were being a total creep towards him. To make matters worse, no one around told him to knock it off. The way he puts her on a pedestal despite her wishes to be treated as a normal classmate never fails to grind his gears, and surely everyone else feels the same way. Don’t even get him started on how Kazuichi calls her “Miss Sonia” unless you have an hour to spare just to listen to him rant and rave.

Each step she takes to get away he simply takes another closer, and it’s painful to watch. He doubts that Kazuichi’s being a creep on purpose, but he wouldn’t put it past him. Sonia was being polite as always despite her obvious discomfort, and every few seconds gave Fuyuhiko a look that practically screamed: “help me”. Taking the hint, he yanks Kazuichi away from their very one-sided conversation the second he can, ignoring his whines. Fuyuhiko gives her an apologetic look before dragging him away, and Sonia gives him an appreciative smile.

Kazuichi regains his footing and walks for a moment before he resumes sprinting yet again. They come to his dorm in a short time considering the small incident. Fuyuhiko stops him a few seconds before they reach the door, grabbing him by his jumpsuit collar.

“Jesus, slow down! You’re gonna go right through the damn door!” An exaggeration, but still. He wasn’t gonna let anyone act like some rogue mutt, no matter how much he liked them.

“But dude!” He whined, retrieving the key from his pocket. “You gotta play it!” 

“I still gotta get the notes first, idiot. Just ‘cause you got some dumb game doesn’t mean I can fuck off and do whatever.” He sternly said, clearly laying down the law. Kazuichi unlocked the door and swung it open for them, and they instantly stepped inside.

They wordlessly began removing their shoes, with Kazuichi simply slipping them off and not even bothering to untie them. At least he isn’t wearing those obnoxiously bright yellow crocs like last week. God, he truly did dress like a clown sometimes. A lovable, dimwitted clown, but a clown nonetheless.

“I mean… you don’t gotta _now_ , y’know? Nothing bad’s gonna happen if you don’t! I can even give it to you another day, or send it to you! C’mon, just play it for a bit, then I'll give ‘em to you!” 

Fuyuhiko quickly shot that idea down as he got a pencil and attempted to jab it into Kazuichi’s leg, who narrowly avoided it and began scavenging through his bag for his notebook immediately after. He flips to the page and hands it to Fuyuhiko, who accepted it with a nod.

“Thanks. Get started on the game, I'll join eventually.” The two plop down onto the couch and while Fuyuhiko grabs his notebook, Kazuichi boots up the tv and console. 

He takes a first glance at the notes, and has to stare at it for a long moment before he can even try to decipher Kazuchi’s hieroglyphic-like writing. Kazuichi unsurprisingly notices Fuyuhiko’s ever-growing look of confusion, and can’t help but to let out a laugh.

“What, you can’t read it?” Fuyuhiko looks up from the sheet, stunned.

“How’d the hell did you even read this in the first place? I swear, that’s a fuckin’ bird!” He points to a word with the end of his pencil. Kazuichi laughs even harder at his dismay and nudges him with his elbow, practically sending sparks through him.

“Just keep lookin’ at it, you’ll get it eventually!” Kazuichi sticks his tongue out and returns to his game.

He hates how a simple touch can make his heart flutter. He’s supposed to be cold and tough, not some emotional sap, dammit. Shaking his head, he places the graphite pencil tip on the lined paper, and just his luck, Kazuichi spreads his legs a bit more leaving them thigh to thigh, and Fuyuhiko’s breath _fucking hitches._ Thank god, Kazuichi’s too into his game to notice. A bead of sweat forms on his temple as he does his best to ignore the steadily increasing temperature. Maybe it’s just him and he can’t handle being this close to Kazuichi, but based on how Kazuichi’s skin looks somewhat slick, he assumes he isn’t just being a wuss.

They fall into a comfortable silence, with the only noises present being the occasional blips coming from Kazuichi’s game. Fuyuhiko pauses his slow writing and takes the chance to look over at Kazuichi. He sat there, elbows on his knees and hunched over, completely fixated onto the game. If he keeps sitting like that he’s surely gonna get back problems, but that isn’t Fuyuhiko’s concern right now. His main issue now is that he still can’t tell what the hell Kazuichi wrote. Oh well, if he wasn’t listening it probably wasn’t too important. Closing both notebooks, he puts his back into his bag and Kazuchi’s on the floor next to it. He reaches for his pencil, but it most likely got sucked deep into a couch cushion since he can’t find it anywhere.

“What kinda game is this, anyway?” Kazuichi pauses it immediately and turns to him with a shocked expression, his eyebrows raised.

“You’re done writing already?” He hands him the extra controller. “It’s a racing game! I think you’ll like it.” Fuyuhiko accepts the controller and their fingers brush as Kazuichi lets go, and he feels sick to his stomach. All the slight touches combined with the heat just might make him puke.

“Honestly, didn’t expect any less from ya.” He boots up his controller, and the screen separates into two.

“Get used to the controls, I’m gonna change into something lighter. Just gimme a sec, I’ll be back!” Fuyuhiko nods as Kazuichi stands up and heads towards his room. Fuyuhiko curses under his breath and is sure that he’s either gonna vomit or go into a rage if Kazuichi comes out in any skimpy clothes.

Oh well, might as well get the hang of this thing to distract himself.

He presses one of the back buttons and the car goes forward, and backward for the other button. The pause and start buttons are obvious enough, as the controller has them labeled. He waits as patiently as he can for Kazuichi’s return, trying not to think about the sweltering heat or what disgusting combination of clothes Kazuichi could come up within such a short time. The bedroom door gets shoved open, and outcomes Kazuichi in a white tank, no beanie, and no pants. Thank god, he still had his boxers on. 

“I’m back! You get the hang of the-”

“Where the _hell_ are your pants?!” 

“It’s hot! What am I supposed to do, die?! Besides, it’s a bro thing! Me and Hajime do it all the time!”

“I’m not Hajime, you dud! Put some shorts on!” He yelled, shielding his eyes with his arm.

“But dude-” 

“Shorts!”

“You see me in it all the time when we sleepover, what’s the difference now?” 

“Th- the difference is that you still fuckin’ covered up!” 

“Fine, dude, Jesus!” He puts his hands up while walking back to his room, and Fuyuhiko lets out a sigh.

Fuck, why’d he stutter? It’s nothing he hadn’t seen before, so why’d he react differently now? His heartbeat is so damned loud that he wouldn’t be surprised if Kazuichi could hear it from across the room, and he could only assume his face is bright red. He removes his vest with a shaky hand to cool himself down, both physically and emotionally, leaving himself in his pristine white button-up. 

_Just get through this day, and you can rant about it later. Just a few more hours, and you’re free to go._

Kazuichi comes out yet again, but this time with black shorts covering his upper thigh. He reclaims his spot on the couch, and Fuyuhiko hands him his controller with a nod. 

“Get the hang of the controls yet?” Kazuichi tilts his head slightly, and Fuyuhiko desperately tries to not look at his collarbone.

“Enough to play.” Kazuichi starts a new round as he continues. “Enough to kick your ass, too.” 

“Pfft, yeah right! I’ve played this way longer than you!” By the time that Kazuichi finished yapping, the race had already begun and Fuyuhiko had a head start. Fuyuhiko chuckles, and Kazuichi finally looks at the screen. “ _Hey!_ Dude, not fair!”

“Should've looked at the screen faster, idiot!” 

Aside from Fuyuhiko cursing under his breath and Kazuichi’s various grunts, the chatter was kept to a minimum for their own sake. Fuyuhiko restrained himself from looking at Kazuichi as much as he could, knowing that his slick skin would make him slowly become unraveled. As he bites the inside of his cheek in an attempt to distract himself as Kazuichi finishes the final lap first, leaving him as the victor. Kazuichi raises his arms in triumph as Fuyuhiko gives him a shove. Kazuichi shoves him back softly before breaking the silence that fell between them.

“We playing again?” Kazuichi questioned as Fuyuhiko shut his controller off, placing it on the couch arm.

“We aren't just gonna sit around and play games, y’know. I came to actually talk to you, dumbass.” Fuyuhiko feels his cheeks flush as Kazuichi smiles.

“Really? Huh, I didn’t think you’d ever say something even remotely sappy.” Fuyuhiko crossed his arms and suddenly found the couch very interesting. “Alright, uh… If you had to pick a guy, who’d it be?”

Fuyuhiko coughed but he quickly regained his composure. 

“What, is this your weird little way of telling me you're into guys?”

“Nah, I’m into Sonia, remember?” As obvious as it was, Fuyuhiko couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. “But if I had to pick… Probably you or Hajime, honestly.” 

Fuyuhiko’s sure that Kazuichi knows about his feelings and is just teasing him for the hell of it. He subtly digs his nails into his arm so he can refrain from cursing Kazuichi out for being such a dunce, but figures that he can’t avoid looking at him any longer. Tearing his gaze away from the couch, his eyes met with Kazuichi’s, who gave a smile that made his stomach churn. Upon Fuyuhiko’s lack of verbal response, Kazuichi continued.

“‘Cause I mean, you're both cute, right? But you’re blond, so probably you first. No homo, obviously.” 

He begins to grind his teeth together despite knowing how bad it is for him. How pathetic could he get? He’s letting Kazuichi practically gush about him, even though he hates being called cute with all his heart, but how Kazuichi had said it somehow made his heart flutter. At this point, he’d rather have a heart attack instead just so he could get out of this damned situation. A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead, and he can’t tell if it’s the heat or the fact that Kazuichi won’t shut up that’s making his head spin and his mouth dry.

“-Plus, you’re a lot sweeter then I thought you’d be. Yeah, you’re a dick, but in a nice way.” At this point, Kazuichi’s completely zoned out, just rambling as he stared at the wall. 

Fuyuhiko finally tunes him out and decides that he needs some time to think, and do anything but focus on Kazuichi or his words.

He stupidly steals another look at Kazuichi while avoiding looking at his body, and moves to place his hand on his wrist, even though he could feel his pulse all over his body. Honestly, he’d be more surprised if Kazuichi couldn’t hear it. Kazuichi absentmindedly scoots over, making their legs completely flush together and he’s sure that his heart’s going to leap onto the floor soon. The way Kazuichi’s slightly chapped lips moved as he endlessly rambled had Fuyuhiko in a trance, and the way the corners of his lips shifted into a smile managed to make him feel worse if that were even possible at this point. 

He directs his attention to his flushed cheeks and realizes that if Kazuichi’s blushing, he must look like a mess. Everything that Kazuichi’s done and said so far combined with the heat and his unreasonable anger, it’s all just too much at once for his body. His body is so slick with sweat, and it feels as if he can feel each individual bead. His mouth is so fucking _dry_ , and _just swallow goddamnit-_

It all came up far too fast, vaguely tasting like his lunch. Luckily enough, he reached for his bag just in time and emptied the contents of his stomach into it. Although, he had just covered everything in vomit. Kazuichi snapped out of his neverending speech and instantly rushed to his side, rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort him. Fuyuhiko spits up the remains in his mouth, wipes the tears that formed in the corner of his eyes from the sheer force of it, and hoped Kazuichi didn’t notice.

“...You good, dude?” The look of concern had made its way back onto Kazuichi’s face as he held Fuyuhiko at the shoulder, keeping him upright. Fuyuhiko slowly nods, obviously tuckered out after the day’s events. “You should get back to your dorm and nap, or somethin’ like that. Just rest up, really.” 

“Fine.” Fuyuhiko burps into his fist as Kazuichi stands with him. “I don’t need you with me. I can walk just fine.” Based on how he stumbles on his first step alone, it’s evident that he can’t. 

“I’ll take your puke bag, just focus on not falling.” He does as he said, and they slowly but surely make their way out the door, Fuyuhiko placing a hand on his arm for balance.

They get halfway to his dorm, which honestly isn’t a long way, but for Fuyuhiko it feels like miles, and he remembers that he forgot his vest. He doesn’t bother to bring it up, knowing that Kazuichi would return it to him soon enough. 

“You aren’t going to class tomorrow either, y’know.”

“Like hell I am, I’ll be fine in the morning. I puked once, it’s no big deal.”

“If you don’t wanna miss any more work, I can just take pictures of it for ya.” 

“...Fine.” Fuyuhiko begrudgingly agrees and opens the door with minimal problems unlocking it. They enter the much cleaner dorm compared to Kazuichi’s, and Fuyuhiko immediately heads for his bedroom as Kazuichi calls out to him.

“Uh- what about the puke?”

“Ugh, just dump it all in the sink and cover it in water, there’s nothing important in there, anyway.” Fuyuhiko opens the door to the dark room, sluggishly changes into the pajamas he wore the night before, and can only hope that Kazuichi would leave after he does what he said.

He slowly makes his way onto his unmade bed and covers himself up with a thin blanket once he gets settled. His mind can’t help but to wander as the front door closes and he knows that he’s finally alone. Why’d he act like some feral animal when Kazuichi took his jumpsuit off, and why was his heart pounding throughout the entire time they spent together, regardless of what they were doing? Most importantly, why the hell did he vomit just from spreading time with him in a hot room? Unfortunately, he knows the answer he doesn’t want to hear for all three of those questions. 

His feelings for Kazuichi go beyond puppy love. Of course it does, because that’d be too easy for him. The hard truth is, he’s in love with Kazuichi, and he absolutely despises that. Maybe if Kazuichi wasn’t so stupid he’d have an easier time accepting it, but he doubts it.

If only Kazuichi were a girl, then all this would be so much better for him. He wouldn’t need to spend countless nights wondering what his family would do to him if they found out he’s into men, or thinking that he shouldn’t even be into guys in the first place. Not to mention, he wouldn’t be so jealous of Sonia if that were the case, too. He doesn’t hate her for making Kazuichi like her, since she clearly doesn’t even want him to look at her half the time, and by extension, doesn’t have a crush on him. 

Why can’t both of them just be normal? If Fuyuhiko didn’t like an idiot stalker that dresses like a clown reject, he wouldn’t even have this problem. As much as he hates the previously listed things, the things he loves about Kazuichi seem to outweigh them by far. For example, like how when he finally gets a question he was stuck on right, he cheers for himself while giving himself an actual pat on the back, or how his smile is practically contagious. He could continue, but truthfully, he’d rather not vomit again. His room is significantly cooler than Kazuichi’s dorm, but just to be on the safe side, he’d rather stop before he ends up daydreaming about his calloused hands, or collarbone, or- 

He forcibly ends his thought process as he flips to his side with a grunt, tugging the blanket higher. Maybe he could think about what he could have to eat after he wakes up, but as long as it isn’t Kazuichi, he’s fine with whatever.

As far as he knows, it’s going to be a long time until he can get over him.


	2. Dreadful Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi, who honestly just doesn't want to be alone right now, invites Hajime to hang out with him. Hajime, being the smartass he is, accidentally helps Kazuichi with his unknown dilemma that he could go without knowing the answer to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i. didnt plan for this to be more then a oneshot, let alone 4 chapters HKEHEFHJHJV uhhh idk man ive been awake for 21 hours here u go enjoy,, also nagito/hajime is mentioned at some point for a lil, so if it sends u into a rage u prolly should skip a few lines. tbh hajime might be a tad ooc since its my first time writing him, but its w/e at this point

Kazuichi closes Fuyuhiko’s door after he disposes of the latters vomit and could only hope that he’d feel better soon. He’d rather stay and comfort Fuyuhiko and maybe even get him something to drink, but based on how he groaned, Kazuichi could only assume that he wanted to be left alone for the remainder of the day.

Truth be told, Fuyuhiko had been acting weird recently, his behavior getting increasingly odd around Kazuichi and only getting worse as the days went on. Obviously, today was no exception. With a final look at the now shut door, he heads for his dorm while being helpless to stop the seemingly endless wave of thoughts concerning Fuyuhiko. Surely it's normal to be worried about him, especially when you take into account that he vomited not long ago and wouldn't accept any help, but something about it all just rubbed Kazuichi the wrong way.

Pushing his thoughts away to the best of his ability, he unlocks his door and steps inside, closing it behind him. Yet again, he doesn’t bother to untie his shoes and just slips them off instead, leaving one toppled over onto its side. He looks at the couch and controllers placed onto its arms and lets out a sigh. He really wished he and Fuyuhiko had been able to hang out longer, but apparently, Fuyuhiko’s body had better things to do. Kazuichi doesn’t blame him, but he’s rather disappointed that they had to cut their time short. Maybe he could visit Fuyuhiko later, or just call and check up on him? He thinks about it for a moment, before noticing the beige vest neatly folded not far from one of the two controllers. He thinks for a short moment before he perks up as he realizes he would have to return it, and by extension, get to see Fuyuhiko again. His heartbeat nearly doubles in speed just at the thought of him, before he furrowed his eyebrows, clearly baffled.

Why in the hell did his heartbeat increase? That’s reserved for Sonia and Sonia alone, not one of his closest friends, dammit. He quickly shakes his head and attempts to resume what he was doing, but simply stood in the center of the room, eyes locked on the wall as he desperately tried to regain his thought process. What was he doing, anyway?

Right, The vest. He makes an ‘ohh’ sound under his breath and begins walking over to the couch for several reasons, with one obviously being to grab hold of the vest. 

He plops onto the couch with a slight grunt while grabbing the vest on his way down, wondering when he should pop into Fuyuhiko’s place to return it. Probably not today since the whole vomit thing, but he can’t imagine that Fuyuhiko would want to see him now, anyway. Kazuichi reaches into his shorts pocket for his phone and begins to scroll through his contact list, but remembers that Fuyuhiko should be asleep currently. Furrowing his eyebrows yet again, he lets out a heavy sigh. What the hell could he do with the remainder of his day now? It’s the weekend, and yet he has no one to spend time with. It’s somewhat sad, truthfully, but the longing for someone to be with him was overpowering. He begins going through the list of people he knows, making mental notes about them all the while.

Fuyuhiko’s sick, he doesn’t have Sonia’s number, Akane and Nekomaru honestly scare him, he’s not close with Chiaki, Mikan, and a few others, Hiyoko, Nagito, and Gundham are a strong no, Miu, Chihiro, and Ibuki are all busy, and Hajime’s… Free.

Well, would you look at that? Looks like Kazuichi has plans for the afternoon after all. Scrolling through his contact list for another short moment, he reaches Hajime and immediately presses the call button with his thumb, and brings it up to his ear as it rings twice.

“Hello?” Hajime answered, no particular emotion in his voice. 

“Haji! You free now, dude?” Kazuichi questioned as he unconsciously tilted his head.

“Yeah, but aren’t you with Fuyuhiko?” Hajime responds, confusion clear in his voice. Kazuichi clicks his tongue before replying, somewhat downhearted.

“I was, yeah.” He sighed once again on impulse. “He got sick not long ago, so he’s at his place restin’. Wanna hang since we’re both free?” It was radio silence on Hajimes end for a moment, before he responded with his voice being much lighter.

“Sure. Your place, I assume?” Kazuichi makes a noise of confirmation before Hajime continued. “Alright, I’ll be there in a few. See you then.”

“Later!” 

The two hang up almost in unison, and Kazuichi pumped his fist as he wildly swang his legs about in pure euphoria. Not only would he not be spending the afternoon alone, but it’s with Hajime! He truly did love both Him and Fuyuhiko, just in a strictly platonic way. It doesn’t matter that he thinks Fuyuhiko is extremely pretty, or that he’d kill for Fuyuhiko to sleep next to him at their next sleepover - or anything else that could be taken romantically for that matter, his heart belongs exclusively to Sonia. Hajime’s cute too, obviously, but Kazuichi had always preferred blonds. 

Truthfully, Fuyuhiko does have some physical attributes that Hajime doesn’t, aside from being blond. Sure, he’s shorter, but Hajime doesn’t have those perpetually pink cheeks or long luscious lashes. Fuyuhiko’s hands are surprisingly soft, too. He probably has some expensive lotion, since he always smells like a faded vanilla. Maybe that’s his cologne, but he smells extremely nice regardless. He always takes good care of his nails too, having little to no dirt underneath with a smooth edge. They aren’t long by any means, just very pleasing to look at.

Kazuichi snapped out of his thought process with a start as Hajime opened the door with an unreadable expression. Upon noticing this, Kazuichi nearly jumped out of his seat and knocked one of the controllers onto the floor in the process.

“Gaah!!” Hajime’s eyes widened at his short-lived shriek, but Kazuichi continued before he could process anything. “Dude, ya gotta knock! Remember when you walked in on… y’know!” Kazuichi’s cheeks reddened at the memory but banished the thought as fast as it came.

“I did? I stood there for a few minutes but you never answered, so I just walked in.” Hajime replies, very matter-of-factly. 

Kazuichi sat there unmoving, his eyes darting between Hajime and the couch. How long had he been thinking about Fuyuhiko? Yeah, it’s normal, but this was the second time he’d lost himself in Fuyuhiko, just listing off all the things he likes about him. Hajime stared back at him, waiting for a response that he wasn’t entirely sure would come. Hajime unsurprisingly notices the two controllers and continues talking without any input from Kazuichi.

“...Were you playing the game?” Hajime gestures to the tv as Kazuichi’s eyes widen, searching for a way he could make this less awkward.

“Errm- yeah! Why else would I be sitting here? D- didja think I was thinking about ‘Hiko, or something?”

Smooth one, Kazuichi. 

“...Why’d you mention Fuyuhiko? I hardly brought him up in the call, so why was he the first to pop into your head?” Hajime’s eyebrows furrowed as the gears started turning in his head. Kazuichi silently curses his deductive nature as miniature beads of sweat begin to form on his temple. 

“I- I didn’t mean too! He just… happened to cross my mind! I’m still worried about him, y’know!” His fingers inch their way up to the rim on his shirt as he fought the urge to bite his lip. “Look, are you gonna play or not, dude?” Hajime continued to stare at him, although his glare had lessened majorly.

“Yeah, get a controller ready.” He takes the empty seat next to Kazuichi, but his eyes are still glued to Kazuichi’s head. “You know I can tell when something’s up, right?” Kazuichi’s eyes widen as he chokes on his saliva but poorly attempts to play it off as a cough, refusing to let his facade falter.

“W- whaddya mean? Nothin’s up, dude! It’s just two guys playing a game together, nothing wrong with that!” The urge to bite his lip finally overcame him, and he softly brought his teeth down onto the inner part of his lip while he hoped Hajime hadn’t seen it, as it would give away that something was, indeed, up.

“Mhm.” Hajime simply stared at him, fully unconvinced, as Kazuichi began to vigorously bounce his leg. Kazuichi returns the wide-eyed stare, until Hajime sighs and finally averts his eyes. “What happened with you and Fuyuhiko, anyway?” Kazuichi squeaks, but his smile quickly returns full force.

“Oh! Well, I mean… since you _wanna_ know.” His smile shifted into a smirk as he tilted his head towards Hajime slightly. “We started off all good, playin’ my game and all, and I asked who he’d pick if he had to pick a guy. Normal stuff, y’know? Anyway, I said how I’d pick him since he’s blonde and all, and he just puked! I dunno if he was sick before, or the heat got to him, but he was real tired after it all. I walked him back to his dorm too, and I tried to stay, but he just wanted to sleep. I can’t blame him though. I mean, the dude vomited!” In a fruitless attempt to lighten the mood, he let out a chuckle that evolved into a snort without hesitation. Hajime could only muster up an awkward half-smile as he cocked his eyebrows and began questioning him.

“Uh. You think the heat got to him? Nothing else?” Kazuichi pauses his rambling as he froze his hands in mid-air and pursed his lips somewhat, awaiting what he’d say next.

“Yeah? I mean, he had this huge vest on!” He unfolds the beige vest and shows it off to prove his point while he continues. “What else could've happened?” Hajime’s pathetic attempt at a smile faded almost immediately and he slowly brought his fingers to his temples.

“You-” Even with the few words spoken, Hajime’s tone could only be read as him being completely baffled or disappointed, and whichever way you’d taken it would fit perfectly. “And you’re sure you aren't bi?”

“Huh?!” He scoffed as he leaned closer, resulting in their nosing being able to touch if he had just moved another few inches. “Whaddya mean?! Pshh, I can’t be bi! It’s fine that you are, but I’m not! It doesn’t matter if I don’t really like Miss Sonia anymore, I don’t like dudes that way!” If how fast Kazuichi’s leg was bouncing could produce electricity, he’d be able to power his dorm for the rest of the year at least. 

“You don’t like Sonia anymore? What happened?” Hajime questioned as his eyes widened further, sounding utterly confused. 

“I dunno! I guess what you and Fuyuhiko was saying just got to me. Y’know, the whole thing about me being a creep, and junk like that…” His voice had trailed off as he neared the end of the sentence, almost as if he didn’t want to admit it. “Plus, we don’t have anything in common, and her serial killer thing is kinda weird, honestly. Besides, she has Gundham anyway.” He’d unknowingly leaned back into the couch and averted his eyes, not wanting Hajime to see his look of defeat. In response to Hajime’s silence, he continued. “Ugh, wanna talk a walk around the school? I gotta move or somethin’, or I might explode.” He’d given another smile, but it couldn’t be clearer that it was fake.

“Ah, sure!” He places a reassuring hand on Kazuichi’s shoulder before standing, and Kazuichi follows suit soon after. “When’d you realize you don’t like Sonia, anyway? It’s not like you’d listen to me and Fuyuhiko.” Kazuichi gives him a half-hearted glare before he elbows Hajime in the chest, but they continue out the door and into the empty halls. 

“Wow, first of all, rude!” He over exaggerates a pout, but Hajime’s expression remains unchanging. Kazuichi brings his hand up to scratch his neck before continuing. “And I don’t know, honestly. Last week, I guess?”

Hajime makes a noise of conformation as they fall into a silence. It’s far from comfortable, but it isn’t agonizing, either. They escape the dorm area and take a right to head for the cafeteria, as Kazuichi’s expression only became more and more dreadful as time went on. He never did handle being alone with thoughts well, and especially thoughts he doesn’t like. For example; the chance that he could have an interest in men. They enter the cafeteria with little words spoken, and Hajime goes to grab a cup of juice while Kazuichi gets a can of coke. They take the nearest seats and Hajime notes Kazuichi fiddling with the tab, nearly prematurely yanking it off entirely. The two sit across from each other as Hajime takes a sip of his juice and Kazuichi plucks the tab off, letting the extra carbonation escape. Kazuichi’s the first to break the silence, albeit with a wavering voice.

“So, what makes you think I’m even into guys? Just ‘cause I don’t like a chick anymore doesn’t make me gay, y’know.” He shoots a sheepish smile at Hajime, trying to mask what he desperately doesn’t want to be true. 

“I never said you were gay, I’m just going off what you’ve already said.” he takes another swig of his juice before opening his mouth again, only for Kazuichi to cut him off.

“But I never said anything like that!” He quickly rebutted, leaving no room for Hajime to take things the wrong way. “I just said that he’s pretty, and if I had to pick a guy it’d be him!-”

“You never told me you called him pretty.” Kazuichi’s eyes shot open and his hands froze with his mouth still agape, realizing he’d been caught in his lie. “That means you were actively thinking about him, or at least enough to think that, right?” Goddamit, could’ve Hajime just went with it for once? Sure, he’s a terrible liar, but that doesn’t matter!

“I- That still doesn’t mean anything! So what, I think he’s pretty! You thought that about Nagito before you two started dating, right?!” Kazuichi yelled, getting extremely defensive. Hajime stared blankly at him for a moment, before covering his mouth with his hand, doing his best to stifle a laugh.

“Yeah- that’s the issue.” He snickered once more before continuing. “I thought like that when I realized I liked Nagito.” 

“What.” Kazuichi glared at Hajime, utterly mortified. “What the hell do you mean?! If you’re trying to say something, say it already, goddammit!” Kazuichi abruptly stood up, slamming his palms flat onto the surface and accidentally nudging the table against the other.

“What I’m trying to say is, I think you might like Fuyuhiko.” 

There it is. The simple sentence that could destroy all the self-worth Kazuichi’s built up over the years in a moment's notice. He has nothing against gay people, but he isn’t one of them! He doesn’t know what his family would think, and he honestly doesn’t want to. He swallows hard and starts to bite his bottom lip just enough to calm his nerves, and finally responds to Him. 

“Huh?! No, I can’t! I- I’ve liked girls before!” Kazuichi crosses his arms over his chest, wholeheartedly believing that his defense was impenetrable. 

“So have I, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like guys as well.” Hajime replied calmly as Kazuichi’s look of pure terror returned full force. “Look, maybe tell me about how Fuyuhiko makes you feel so I could actually help?” Kazuichi pondered the idea for a moment, before sitting back down with a quick nod.

“So, uh- where do I start? I always thought he was pretty, but I just kinda… started to notice more recently. Like how his eyelashes are really long, and how he always smells like some sorta vanilla. He has nice hands and soft skin too. Is that weird?” He paused to take a swig of coke and look at Hajime for a moment, who simply shrugged in response. “Eh, can’t be much worse than before, right? Anyway, he’s really sweet, too. I know he’s a dick, but when he _is_ sweet you can’t miss it, no matter how much he crosses his arms or rolls his eyes!” Folding his hands together and bringing them to his heart, he practically swooned at the mere memories of things Fuyuhiko had done for him. He unintentionally closes his eyes as he gives a beaming smile before continuing, much more enthusiastic than before.

“Oh! There’s a ton of things I like about him that aren’t physical, too! Sure, he’s a blondie, but even his writing is real pretty, and he even bugs me about being distracted during class! Sometimes when I throw a note at him, after he reads it he always shakes his head with a smile and tells me to get back to work. Yeah, he calls me a dumbass, but I’m just pretty sure that’s just how he shows affection to people that aren’t Peko. Y’know how we met, right?” Hajime opened his mouth, but Kazuichi simply continued his off the rails ranting. “I got jumped by these kids, and he just took care of it- and the guy didn’t even know me! He dresses real well, too. I mean, I wouldn’t wear that kinda stuff, but it suits him! His collared shirts always frame his neck really well, and- what’s that look for, dude?” 

When Kazuichi finally opened his eyes, he was greeted by Hajime stifling a laugh with a smirk plastered on his face. Kazuichi was evidently confused about why he was laughing at all, let alone when he had offered to help him with his dilemma. Hajime bit his inner cheek before his laugher vanished, and took a deep breath to steady himself. 

“Do I even need to say anything? You just rambled about him and wouldn’t have stopped if you hadn’t seen me looking at you like that.” Kazuichi narrowed his eyes as Hajime placed a fist onto his cheek, casually leaning against the table. 

“What? It’s normal to think about a friend like that! We’re just bros, and that’s it!” Ah, so he wanted to do this the hard way? Very well then, it’s nothing Hajime hadn’t experienced before.

“Normal if you have a crush on them, yeah. How else do you think I thought about Nagito? Besides, do you think about me like that?”

“Whaddya mean, dude?! It doesn’t matter that I don’t think of you that way! I already know I’m not crushin’ on him, anyway!” He screamed at this point, almost as if he were trying to convince himself more than Hajime. 

“Just admit it already.” At those four words, Kazuichi’s scowl immediately fell into a teary-eyed expression as he brings his head down onto the table with his arms folded in front of him, whining mere seconds after. Hajime began rubbing at his back as he continued, trying to make sure he wouldn’t have a breakdown then and there. “I already know he won’t care if you’re bi since he’s still friends with me, if that’s any help.” 

“That’s not the point!” He whines yet again, peering up at Hajime. “I don’t want him to know I’m into him!” Hajime went silent for a moment before he softly sighed. 

“Then… don’t tell him?” He slowly stated the obvious, but apparently Kazuichi hadn’t thought of that since his eyes practically sparkled.

“Right! Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He stood up and pulled Hajime into an awkward over-the-table hug and Hajime could only pat his back before Kazuichi pulled away. “Now I… uh- need to sleep on this, honestly. Sorry man, but thanks for all the help! We can hang tomorrow, and I’ll even get you somethin’ for lunch! Later, dude!” Before Hajime could do anything Kazuichi dashed out the two large doors leading into the hallway, leaving a stunned Hajime and full coke can behind. 

Kazuichi bolted down the empty hallways, needing to get to his dorm as he doesn’t want to start bawling in public again. He already has the reputation of a crybaby, no need to make it worse. Someone- presumably a hall monitor- calls out to him, but he simply pretends not to hear as he runs the final stretch to his door that he honestly might’ve forgotten to lock. Finally getting to the dorm entrance, he slams his feet down so he doesn’t go flying. Tugging the door open, he finds out that he had forgotten to lock it, but that doesn’t cross his mind for more than a split second as he swiftly moves inside, slamming the door behind him and locking it for good measure.

Placing a hand on his chest, he, at last, felt how hard his heart was pounding. He takes a deep breath, but the tears well up and he slumps against his door, utterly defeated. 

So, this is how it has to be, huh? Not only is he into men, but he’s into Fuyuhiko as well. Shoving a hand into his pocket, he brings out his phone and checks the clock that read 8:35 PM. Huh, it’s not as late as he thought it would be, but what harm is an extra few hours of sleep going to do? 

He takes his shoes off by hand, _still_ not untying them, lays them down next to him as he continued his deep breathing Fuyuiko had taught him. Based on how his heart lurches when he thinks of Fuyuhiko, it’s probably not good to be thinking of him. Shaking his head, he stands while bracing his hand against the wall as he raises himself on shaky legs. Trudging his way to his messy room, he doesn’t turn the light on and instead slips off his shorts and places his phone onto the end table, and nearly throws himself onto his unmade bed. Turning onto his back, he retrieves the blanket and drapes it over his bottom half, not looking to overheat. He groans as he rubs the tired out of his eye, and slowly turns onto his stomach and hooks his hands under his pillow. Not wanting to think of anything at all, he begins to count sheep to the best of his ability while inevitably getting distracted thinking of ways he could make it up to Hajime later. 

Honestly, he doesn’t want to like Sonia _or_ Fuyuhiko, but it’s not like he could control it. What could he say? His type’s powerful blonde people that have someone that would probably kill Kazuichi for looking at their respective person the wrong way- those two people being Gundham and Peko, for obvious reasons. Hey, Sonia and Fuyuhiko both have fair skin and long lashes too-

Goddamit, cut it out! He doesn’t need to compare his former crush and his current one- he has enough stress now, anyway! Slamming his face back into the pillow and he resumes counting, and he doesn’t know how long it is until he falls asleep, but he does so with an uncomfortable crick forming in his neck. God, he has to get a better sleeping position soon.


	3. Unexpected Outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuyuhiko goes to Kazuichi's dorm to break the terrible news to him, but it turns out that Kazuichi has something extremely important to say as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took a lil longer to do since I haven't been too hot recently, but w/e its out!! idk enjoy

It’s been about a week since Fuyuhiko had to cut his hangout with Kazuichi short, and if anything, he’s only feeling worse. The lingering thoughts that Kazuichi would find out about his feelings and accidentally tell someone since he can’t keep his mouth shut, honestly terrified him to no end. He doesn’t even want to think about what his family would think, and even if they were fully supportive, he still wouldn’t want people to know that he’s gay. Ugh, even thinking those words makes him feel sick to his stomach. Of course, he supports same-sex attraction, but that’s the last thing he’d want to have. Just his luck, right? 

Anyway, all of the previously mentioned reasons are why he plans to do something extremely important, but he truly would rather do just about anything else, even if it’s for his own safety. Today’s the day he’s going to finally cut Kazuichi off. He’d been going over every way it could end, with none of them being pleasant, but it’s not like he has any other option. It’ll be nothing like the aftermath of their previous fights where they simply refuse to speak to each other, this time it’ll be the end of their friendship for good - or, should be, if everything goes according to plan. 

He hadn’t gotten his vest back yet, either. Even if Kazuchi somehow miraculously remembered to return it, he’s not sure he could even wear it again after all that happened while he had it on. He still has a few minutes until he has to go to Kazuichi's dorm and demolish everything they’ve built up since they became friends, but if he thinks of Kazuichi’s tear-filled eyes or anything of that sort he knows he’d back out, so that’s why he’d been cleaning his dorm for the past hour simply attempting to clear his mind before it all goes to shit. 

It hadn’t been working in the slightest. Just about every single thing reminded him of Kazuichi, from the mere thought of his vest to the moments that would’ve stuck the most, such as Kazuichi passing him notes in the middle of class, or a lingering touch. 

His phone buzzes, and he reluctantly puts the cloth down and reaches for it while it buzzes a second time. Ah, speak of the devil. Kazuichi had sent two messages, but Fuyuhiko doesn’t bother to read them and instead unlocks his phone to head to the contacts app. Scrolling down to Kazuichi’s name, he taps it and hovers his thumb over the delete button. He takes a deep breath, before bringing his finger down onto the button, effectively removing Kazuichi from his contacts. Deleting the messages and endless late-night conversations they’d had, he finally moves onto his photos. 

Opening the app, he enters his folder simply titled ”Kazuichi”, and once he clicks on it to reveal the hundreds of pictures, he feels a pang of pure guilt rush over him. He can’t help but to scroll for a moment, replaying the times Kazuichi had stolen his phone only to take both good and bad pictures of himself over and over in his head. The photoset of an unassuming Kazuichi slowly realizing why Fuyuhiko had the camera pointed at him, and not moments after beginning to pose with a toothy smile plastered onto his face, unsurprisingly stuck the most. He moves his thumb to the delete all button once again but fails to muster up the courage to fully erase all the memories he and Kazuichi photographed together. 

He shuts his phone off, slips it into his pocket, and drags his hand down his face with a drawn-out groan. The fact that he had to come face to face with Kazuichi in a few minutes wasn’t helping at all. He could always break the news to Kazuichi over text, but he refuses to take the easy way out of the situation he got himself into. If only he could control his feelings and not fall for the first guy that was nice to him, he wouldn’t even have to deal with this.

Whatever, there’s no use sulking around now. He’ll just have to delete the pictures later or get someone else to, so he wouldn’t get a chance to look at the photos and back out last second yet again. He walks towards the front door while the only thing he could think of is how he can even break the news to Kazuichi. _I know we’ve been friends for a while, but we can’t be friends anymore due to an unspecified reason that I refuse to go into detail about._

As if Kazuichi wouldn’t harass Fuyuhiko until he gets a proper answer. There really is no way this could go without a hitch, is there? 

With a deep sigh, he slips on the first pair of shoes he sees, which happen to be his brown loafers, and he heads out the door, not bothering to lock it behind him. He’ll only be a few minutes, anyway. Even if Kazuichi followed him back to his dorm, he could always just slam it in his face and continue with his day. Entering the hallway, he walks to Kazuichi’s dorm, practically dragging his feet along with every step. 

It wasn’t helping that Kazuichi’s dorm was right next to his own, either. It wouldn’t surprise him if Kazuichi changed his morning routine, or started coming to class late simply to avoid coming in contact with him. Kazuichi had never taken their fights well, and this clearly wouldn’t be an exception. 

Fuyuhiko knocks on Kazuichi’s door a lot less confidently than he would’ve hoped, and all the nerves he’d been suppressing seemingly all came up at once. His throat felt incredibly dry, and he swore he could hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears if he’d care to listen for it. Taking a deep breath, he assures himself that it’ll all go over fine. Who cares if Kazuichi sheds a few tears, or tugs on his shirt and begs to know why he’s leaving?

...Fuyuhiko does.

He doesn’t get more than a second to dwell on that, as Kazuichi swings the door and immediately scoops Fuyuhiko into a tight, too warm embrace.

“‘Hiko! Why are ya here so early?” Fuyuhiko makes a noise of confusion since he’s hardly on time, but Kazuichi continues without any further input. “Eh, not like it really matters what time you come over. Come on in, dude!” Kazuichi links an arm around Fuyuhiko and walks him into the dorm, closing the door behind him.

Neither of them had spoken a word since they entered the dorm. Kazuichi keeps shooting Fuyuhiko nervous glances, almost as if he knows what's going to go down, while Fuyuhiko simply looks ahead and ignores it to the best of his ability. Kazuichi indiscreetly droops his arm back down, and slowly slides his hand into a pocket while they enter the kitchen. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko’s eyes finally meet, and the vast sea of emotions you could see in Kazuichi’s eyes just about made him rethink everything. Sure, he was smiling, but that meant nothing when you discover that he’s biting the inside of his cheek, something he always did when he’s trying to soothe his nerves without drawing attention to himself. Not to mention, you could nearly feel the piercing fear and anticipation simply by gazing into his eyes for even a split second.

Fuck, Fuyuhiko felt guilty as hell. He couldn’t stop now though. He’d come this far, and it’s for the greater good either way. He wouldn’t dare think of what his parents or their peers would do to either of them, even if Kazuichi had nothing to do with it. Fuyuhiko sighs and begins slipping off his shoes, still feeling Kazuichi’s unrelenting gaze on him.

“I still have my shoes on, dumbass.” Kazuichi’s eyes widen momentarily, but he shoots Fuyuhiko a sheepish smile as he begins to rub the base of his neck.

“Ehehe! That… doesn’t really matter anymore, right? I mean, if you can puke right next to me, having your shoes on is nothing!” 

Fuyuhiko shakes his head, walks over to the door, and places his shoes on the mat nearby. The moment he leaves the room, Kazuichi lets out a relieved breath and leans back onto the counter slightly. As he drags a hand down his face with a groan, Fuyuhiko enters once again with an expression not far from a scowl. 

“I’m not even close to being early either. The hell’s gotten into you _this_ time?” He mentally facepalms and fights back a groan. He hadn’t meant to ask if Kazuichi was alright or show that he cares, even if the way it was asked sounded slightly nasty, but it’s nothing Kazuichi wouldn’t look past. 

“Eh? Whaddya mean? You’re like… an hour early, dude.” Kazuichi looked on in confusion with his mouth slightly agape as Fuyuhiko brought his phone out to show the time.

“It’s 6:24. If anything, I’m late.” Fuyuhiko fights the urge to call him any sort of name once more, as Kazuichi would take it as a nickname. It’s what they’ve always done, so why should Kazuichi expect anything different? 

“Oh. Anyway, I- uh...” Kazuichi swallows hard as he begins to fiddle with his thumbs as Fuyuhiko raises his eyebrows at him, an indicator to continue. “I gotta tell you somethin’ _really_ important. Just… promise not to be mad?” Kazuichi averts his eyes the second Fuyuhiko gets a proper look at him.

Fuyuhiko stood there momentarily, simply observing Kazuichi’s body language. Kazuichi, being the terrible liar he is, wouldn’t be able to keep this facade up much longer. He was clearly getting increasingly nervous by the second, anxiously awaiting Fuyuhiko’s response as he kept shifting his weight from one foot to another. Bringing both his hands into his shorts pockets in a pathetic attempt to appear nonchalant, but it’s impossible to seem cool and collected when you’re picking at a steadily forming hangnail and chewing on your lip. Fuyuhiko sighs softly before finally answering.

“Fine. Don’t take too long, I have things to do.” He hoped Kazuichi wouldn’t ask about the details, or why he’d asked to come over for a few minutes in the first place. Kazuichi nods, lets out a deep breath and gives a quick queasy smile. Fuyuhiko’s surprised that Kazuichi managed to keep it together this long, but he doesn’t have more than a second to dwell on it before Kazuichi begins murmuring.

“So, uh- Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” In response to Fuyuhiko’s uncharacteristic cold stare, he let out a short, awkward laugh before averting his eyes while his smile fades. “This is… really embarrassing to talk about, but I... figured you should know.”

“Yeah? Hit me with it, then.” Kazuichi chews his lips for a moment, but Fuyuhiko sighs and continues. “Well?”

“Right! I’m gonna just… skip all the junk if that’s good with you?” Fuyuhiko nods and Kazuichi continues, the insecurities practically oozing from his voice. “So, uh… I’m into guys. I still like girls, but... y’know what I’m getting at?” His voice trembles at the last few words and he swallows hard, awaiting Fuyuhiko’s response.

Fuyuhiko stood there, his eyes bugged out of his head and his mouth agape. He furrows his eyebrows and looks Kazuichi up and down as the latter backed himself against the counter more than before, his already pitiful facade dissolving like sugar in hot tea.

“What?” Fuyuhiko asks through gritted teeth, although he was well aware of what Kazuichi meant. Kazuichi grinds his teeth out of pure nerves and scrambles to form a coherent sentence.

“Y’know, the thing Hajime is?! Uh- what’s it called…” He hurriedly thinks for a moment, before he remembers and snaps his finger. “Bisexual, that’s it! I-if you didn’t get pissed at Hajime for it, you can’t get pissed at me! That’s how this works, right?!” 

Truthfully, Fuyuhiko wanted to utterly shatter Kazuichi’s nose then and there for ruining his plan, not unlike a teacup that had been hurled against a brick wall. He takes a deep breath, and Kazuichi presses himself even harder against the countertop, trying to get as far away from Fuyuhiko as possible. Of course, of all the things Kazuichi had to tell him, it had to be _that._ Of all the things!

“Say something, already!” Fuyuhiko sighs, yet Kazuichi won’t stop rambling as usual. “Dude?! I’m serious! You’re scaring- mmph!” Fuyuihko slams his palm onto Kazuichi’s mouth, effectively shutting down his rampant wailing.

“Just… shut up for a second! I’ll move my hand, and you keep quiet.” Fuyuhiko barked, and Kazuichi nods slowly, mostly out of fear for what’s going to happen. “First of all, why the hell would I be pissed? That fact that I’m still friends with Hajime should’ve told you that I don’t care about that sorta thing. Even if I was against it, I still wouldn’t do anything to you.” He knows that weren’t true, but he’d rather lie to prevent Kazuichi from having a full-blown breakdown on the kitchen floor. 

“... oh. I really thought you were gonna beat me into a pulp, or somethin’.” He gives an awkward chuckle and a sheepish smile, fully unaware of the gears turning in Fuyuhiko’s head. 

He had a reply in mind, but his thoughts were cut short by Kazuichi wrapping his arms around him tightly. In any other circumstance, it would’ve been almost pleasant, but with Kazuichi coming out and Fuyuhiko’s previous plans as factors, it felt as if he were being constricted by a python who was simply waiting for the moment he’d drop dead. He gives a half-assed pat on the back and Kazuichi pulls away with a beaming smile that practically stretched from ear to ear. Fuyuhiko opens his mouth, but Kazuichi resumes speaking before he could get a word out.

“Ahh, one sec!” He turns around, sticks his head out, and cups his hand around his mouth as he hollers down to the other end of the dorm. “Hajime!! Get out here!” 

Fuyuhiko pokes his head out into the hall and is greeted by Hajime leisurely making his way into the kitchen. He enters moments after, waves at Fuyuhiko slightly, and turns his head to Kazuichi as he begins speaking. 

“So, I assume it went well?” He questioned, Fuyuhiko’s eyes burning a hole into the back of his head. 

“Wh- you knew?!” Fuyuhiko splutters, astonished that Kazuichi had an accomplice the entire time. 

“What, you think I could figure that out on my own? Pfft, you got another thing comin’, then. Besides, even if you _did_ try anything he could help me, y'know?” Hajime turns so he’s able to face the two of them at the same time, and Fuyuhiko darts his eyes between them with his eyes blown out of his head.

“What about Sonia? Do your parents know? When the _hell_ did you figure this out?!” Fuyuhiko rapid-fire shot questions at Kazuichi as he and Hajime both tried to process it. They exchanged confused glances, but Kazuichi swallows hard and does his best to answer them all.

“I, uh… just realized you guys were right about how I was bein’ a total creep towards her, basically. I apologized to her the day you were out, and she forgave me and said we might be able to be friends!” His smile returned full force but faded once again seconds after. “I don’t think I’m gonna tell my parents, though. I’m pretty sure my dad’s against it, but I don’t know about my mom, and… I’d just rather not risk it, y’know? And I found out like… last week, I think? Whenever we hung out last. After you puked I hung out with Hajime, and he ended up helping me work everything out.” Kazuichi nervously darted his eyes between the two boys in front of him and gave a small smile, not being used to all the attention. 

“Huh.” Fuyuhiko nods as his throat goes dry, the tension still as strong as ever. “You didn’t tell me sooner, because…?” 

“Hey! That took a lot of courage to go through with, dude!” Kazuichi whines as Hajime stifles a laugh. Fuyuhiko forces a chuckle as he elbows Kazuichi, responding seconds later. 

“Fuck, calm down, I’m kidding. I’m proud of you.” 

Both Hajime’s and Kazuichi’s eyes widen at the kind words, and Fuyuhiko fully processes what he’d vomited up. The words stung like bile slowly climbing it’s way up his throat. Sadly, He does mean it, although he’d be much happier for Kazuichi under literally any other set of circumstances. 

His entire previous plan had been rendered completely useless due to four little words. He’d repeatedly scrutinized every little detail to work around it, and yet, he couldn’t get the nerve to break the news to Kazuichi. There’s no way in hell he could cut Kazuichi off when he couldn’t even delete the pictures of him, and he wouldn’t dare do it in front of Hajime, regardless. He doesn’t need an extra pair of eyes staring him down and belittling him just because they could never understand his reasoning for doing such a thing to his friend. Even if he went through with it all despite all the reasons not to, it would only seem like it’s because of Kazuichi coming out, and he’d rather if Kazuichi didn’t have to ruin his self worth like an old yellow coupon that had been sitting abandoned for years.

The two boys in front of him give a smile of relief after a moment of silence, and Fuyuhiko begins to grind his teeth as secretly as possible. If they noticed how tense and sharp he was being, they’d surely pester him and he’d have to come up with some transparent lie. Maybe Kazuichi wouldn’t notice, but Hajime definitely would, and he’d have to explain _everything._

Fuyuhiko snaps back into reality from Kazuichi snapping his fingers mere inches away from Fuyuhiko's face, a concerned look falling onto Hajime and Kazuichi’s faces. It seems as if the two had attempted to talk to him, but just ended up talking at him instead. If he kept this up, he’d surely have some explaining to do. Hajime’s the first to speak once he realizes that Fuyuhiko’s fully conscious, worry already embedding itself into his voice.

“Fuyuhiko, is everything alright?” Fuyuhiko lets out a deep breath as subtly as possible and rubs at his eye softly.

“Yeah, just tired.” He pauses for a second before turning his head to face Kazuichi. “Didja have something else to say, or are we done here?” Kazuichi thinks briefly before he replies as he shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m done.” Fuyuhiko fists his hand into a pocket as he begins to turn to the exit, only to be interrupted by Kazuichi placing a calloused hand on his shoulder. “Hey, didn’t you have something to tell me, though?” 

“No?” Fuyuhiko swallowed hard as he felt his plan slowly collapsing around him like a house of cards in a wind storm. “What made you think that, anyway?” 

“Really? I coulda swore that you said you had to tell me something, too.” Kazuichi furrows his eyebrows in thought as he turns to Hajime for his opinion, who shrugs in response, and Kazuichi does the same in return. “Huh. Maybe skipping out on sleep planning this out is makin’ me hear things, ehehe.” 

The three boys laugh, but its painfully obvious that they’re all forced. It’s clear that they know something’s up with Fuyuhiko, but neither wants to risk asking him about it. The shared laughter seems to stop all at once, and the boys are left with the thick, uncomfortable tension surrounding them yet again. They meet eyes for a short moment, yet they all avert their eyes at once. Hajime’s attempting to look busy by examining the minimal amounts of decor mounted on the walls, Kazuichi suddenly finds the floor very interesting, and Fuyuhiko’s peeking at the front door out of the corner of his eye, wondering how easy it would be to just walk out and never come back.

Of course, he knows he’d never be able to walk out for good. If he’s too weak to delete some small pictures, then there’s no way in hell he’d even be able to go through with his plan, especially with Hajime serving as a third wheel. No matter how much he wants to - no matter how much he _should_ , he just can’t bring himself to go through with it. 

The silence is far too loud for his liking. If he listened closely, he could’ve sworn that he heard the lights overhead buzzing, along with Kazuichi’s shuffling feet. Of course, he couldn’t be bothered, as he has much bigger issues then some irritating sounds. 

“Hey.” Kazuichi and Hajime quickly whip their gaze back to Fuyuhiko, who continued without any input after clearing his throat. “I got things to do, so I’m taking my leave.” They exchange their quick goodbyes, although Fuyuhiko hadn’t listened one bit.

Giving a half-assed wave to the others, he slips his loafers on and heads out the door, completely forgetting about his missing vest. Once again, that isn't his main concern as he slams the door shut and slumps against it, far too many emotions going through his head at once. He had never been one for deciphering his feelings, and this isn’t an exception, but the way his heart pounded and his stomach churned shouldn’t go together at all. 

Who cares if his crush is into guys? Certainly not Fuyuhiko. It doesn’t matter if it’s Fuyuhiko’s fault that Kazuichi isn’t into him, since he can’t blame it on the latters sexuality any longer. Nope, it didn’t bother him in the slightest. 

He desperately wishes that were true.

If Kazuichi were straight, Fuyuhiko wouldn’t be worrying about if he looks presentable around him or whether he’s being too mean, as it wouldn’t affect his chances of getting with him. The thought of Kazuichi liking him back terrified him just as much as Kazuichi just finding out on his own, as in both of those scenarios he’d end up having to cut ties with Kazuichi completely. 

The more he thinks about that, the more he doesn’t want to lose him. Simply thinking of Kazuichi begging to know why he’s leaving and asking if what they had meant anything, honestly, makes Fuyuhiko feel like shit. It’s truly pathetic, having only the most tender feelings that should be reserved for a girl, for his male friend. It couldn’t even be passed off as platonic if he’d desperately tried, as he’s had some… unwelcome thoughts of him late at night, and he loathes every moment of it. 

...he probably shouldn’t be doing this in an open hallway, huh?

With a deep sigh, he picks himself off the door and scuffs his way into his dorm. Locking the door behind him, he could only think of why things can’t go his way for once. He couldn’t tell for the life of him if Kazuichi coming out is a blessing or a curse since, on one hand, it means he at least has a chance. A minuscule chance, yes, but a chance nonetheless. Yet, on the other hand, he’d have to face every single one of his fears. His family, his peers, and himself.

If he even tells one person about this, it would surely spiral into a disaster. One person would tell others, then students and teachers alike would have access to that information, and his parents would inevitably find out. If- no, _when_ that happens, he’s surely going to be disowned in seconds, or even worse. 

But… even if Kazuichi or Hajime did end up finding out about him being gay somehow, it’s not like they’d tell anyone. Clearly, the two of them are just as secretive about their sexuality as Fuyuhiko. If Kazuichi miraculously did have the same feelings for Fuyuhiko, it’s not like they’d go about flaunting it everywhere they go if they ended up dating. What’s so bad about them knowing, then? 

Dammit, stop thinking about things that’ll never happen, he has work to do still. 

Slipping his shoes off, he recalls the notes from that day he missed. Luckily for him, Sonia allowed him to borrow them- and they’re legible! He moves into his bedroom quickly, simply wishing to silence the thoughts that concerned Kazuichi and today’s events. He fishes around in his previously cleaned bag for a moment, before bringing out a pencil, Sonia’s notes, and an empty notebook. Taking a seat onto his bed, he leans against the headboard and lays his notebook onto his lap, leaving the other open book next to him flat against the bed. 

Taking notes come easy to him, as Sonia’s handwriting is neat and overall well-placed throughout the page, even if the use of six different pastel highlighters did seem redundant. He reads a sentence, puts it into jot note form onto his sheet, and resumes reading. Not only should he be doing this regardless, but it just happens to be distracting him from his previous problems. 

He eventually gets to the section with the occasional pastel pink highlight or doodle, and everything comes rushing back. Ugh, there he goes again, thinking of _him_ from a stupid color. Can he just have a single day where things go the way he wants? Whatever, it’s not like he could delay writing the notes for any longer, so he might as well try to come up with a solution for his problem as he finishes up.

He knows he’s far too pathetic to cut off all relations to Kazuichi, but maybe he doesn’t have to? He could just tell him that he likes a girl, and Kazuichi wouldn’t be able to suspect a thing. Of course, Hajime and his observant nature would eventually discover the truth, but he wouldn’t dare tell anybody, especially Kazuichi. Let’s say Kazuichi did find out about his feelings for him. It’s unlikely that he’d feel uncomfortable being friends with him from then on out, but even if he did, it’d simply just put Fuyuhiko’s failed plan into action. They’d cease the friendship, never have to talk to each other again, and Fuyuhiko wouldn’t even have to feel bad for making Kazuichi cry.

If Kazuichi attempted to tell people about Fuyuhiko’s situation, he could merely threaten Kazuichi until he has no choice but to back down. Fuyuhiko doubts that Kazuichi would even think to do that, as they both know Fuyuhiko could turn the scenario back onto him either way. Their peers would believe Fuyuhiko over Kazuichi as well, since who would you respect more? A greasy, cowardly mechanic, or a future heir of a famously known clan? The answer is clear, and they’d have no choice but to believe Fuyuhiko instead, whether it be by force or not. 

What if Kazuichi felt the same? For all that Fuyuhiko knows, Kazuichi coming out could be his way of trying to give Fuyuhiko hints about how he feels. If that were the case, how Fuyuhiko had acted back there certainly hadn’t helped. Even if they had somehow put all their fears aside and agreed to be in a relationship, they’d have to break up at the end of high school, regardless of how the two of them felt about each other. Afterall, Fuyuhiko has to be the heir to the Kuzuryuu Clan whether he likes it or not, and they wouldn’t allow a homosexual to be involved with their business, let alone on top. Although, Kazuichi would stay supporting him throughout everything, as they've been through far too much together for him to simply pack everything up and leave one day.

Would you look at that, there isn’t really a horrible way this could end. Sure, he might lose Kazuichi, but Fuyuhiko wouldn’t have to deal with the weight of leaving him by his own free will. He’d still be the heir even if Kazuichi tried to out him to others, as Fuyuhiko could turn the situation back onto Kazuichi. Even if they’d date and break up, his spot as the clan leader wouldn’t be threatened as he could simply marry a woman and never speak of his highschool days, and if anyone dared to ask why he hadn’t been seeing anyone throughout the entirety of his school years, he could just state that teenage romance is worthless to him. That wouldn’t be a complete lie, either, as any relationship he’d pursue wouldn’t matter in a few years, aside from Fuyuhiko yearning for someone he could truly love. 

...okay, that doesn’t sound pleasant either, but its a much better outcome than being disowned. Truthfully, Fuyuhiko won’t mind almost any outcome, as long as he’s the heir in the end. He’s worked his entire life to get into that position, and he won’t let the opportunity pass him, even though he desperately wants Kazuichi there to support him. Although, Kazuichi wants Fuyuhiko to be the heir just as bad as he does, so if they did end up dating and breaking up or something along those lines, Kazuichi would understand and stay with him as a friend. No matter what sequence of events happens, Fuyuhiko _will_ be the heir. Even if that’s the only thing he’s sure of, it gives him comfort knowing that Kazuichi would be by his side, romantically or not.

Maybe, just maybe, things are looking up for Fuyuhiko.


End file.
